Movie Review

Children of Men & Epic Movie

It has been a while since I wrote a movie review, so I thought I would do a couple. These are of the films that I saw on the plane to India, so you will have to appreciate the review is based on watching the film on a 7 inch screen with a pair of dodgy headphones. Surprisingly though it didn't spoil my enjoyment of one of the films, and the other one probably belongs on a 7 inch screen, and would be far better without sound at all.

If you want to read what I think just click continue, I welcome any comments, and your views if you have seen the film as well.

Children of Men

Based in a dismal future of 2027, where illegal immigrants are caged like animals, awaiting deportation, we find Theo Falon (Clive Owen). An ex-activist turned bureaucrat, who is not too happy with his work and hates the way the world has become. The news that has the whole world mourning is that the youngest person in the world has just died, referred to as a baby even though he was 18 years old hints at the sheer desperation of the world. For something has happened to make people infertile, although we never discover what.

Because Theo works in the right department and knows the right people he is asked by his ex-wife Julien (Julianne Moore) to get a free travel pass for a particularly important illegal immigrant, a Fijian called Kee (Claire-Hope Ashitey), who miraculously is pregnant.

Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London

Something goes wrong however, and Theo has to escort Kee to the Human Project, a sanctuary from the world in which they are currently living.

I have to say I really enjoyed this film, although in parts there was dialogue that I didn't really think was relevant, and it could easily have been removed. The futuristic, dark and bleak view of London 20 years from now was superbly filmed, as were the handy-cam sections of the film, this included blood splatters on the camera lens that really added to the effect given.

A pretty reasonable cameo type role from Michael Caine as Jasper, gave a good background into Theo's break-up with his ex-wife, and added to the desperation and sadness of his character.

Children of Men was I feel left open, we did not see a few things, like what became of the midwife (Pam Ferris), or if the Human Project did actually exist. It would be nice if they made a follow up to tie up the loose ends.

Not a chick flick, but still a very well made film.

Starring: Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, Michael Caine, Claire Hope Ashitey

Rating: ****

Epic Movie

This is the other "film" I saw on the plane to India, now I use the term film very loosely when applying it to this PAP!


It follows the story of 4 orphans, who win Golden Tickets for a fantastic adventure. When they get to the chocolate factory they realise that Wonka has been adding human flesh for the flavouring and they are next on the list. So they have to hide. Oh wow they find a wardrobe that transports them to Gnarnia (the G is silent for copyright reasons). Cue Hlarity?? Well NO, the only good thing I can say about this drivel is the performance of Adam Cambell as Capt. Jack Swallow. The rest just didn't offer one single smile, one single laugh. It was utter, utter pants! Not as bad as Hardware but bloody close.

The only Epic about the film in my opinion is the Epic waste of time and money spent doing it.

Starring ; Come on be serious!

Rating: 1/10 of a * and that is been genrous!