Joke Time

A Rude Joke

Just thought I'd have a bit of a change and post a rude joke. Expect more to follow!

A posh hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the night the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of shandy's. One questions the other two, "Listen, it's our wedding night and I was wondering - how many times are we expected to...um...you know.... do it?"

The other two look blankly at him, wondering if the usual 2 pumps and a squirt is enough, or if should they go for it twice, seeing as it is a special occasion. Eventually, they all decide to retire to their respective wives and see how the night goes, with the idea to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what went on.

Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first night marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sat with us."

"No you're right. What we'll do then, is for every piece of toast we order with our breakfast, that'll be the amount times we did it" offers another groom.

They all decide it's an excellent idea and depart.

The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit dishevelled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the room to their tables.

The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order, "Hello, I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please". The other two grooms smile at him and raise a glass of fresh orange in a toast to his fantastic prowess.

The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I too shall have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR pieces of toast" The other two grooms turn to make pistols from their fingers to shoot a salute to the master swordsman.

The waitress gets to the last groom "I shall also have the full English breakfast please, yet I shall have..." he takes a deep breath "SEVEN, yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST" he calls for everyone's benefit whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief at the thought how raw his poor corey must be.

"Seven pieces of toast sir?" queries the waitress. "Why, that's an awful lot"
"Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is." She writes down his order and turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her again

"And by the way love, can you make two of those brown?"